AlSymerz

Mid last year there was a group in Melbourne trying to claim our next 'pandemic' was going to be a necrotism type bug that was prominent in bay side suburbs and was first found in south eastern coastal towns, it was even named after one of those towns. The problem was that it was neither a pandemic or caused by the white tailed spiders, it was caused by infected mozzies, which given the coastal areas it was first found made more sense given that the area is called Mosquito Coast. Introducing Mozzies into this country all those years ago was a great idea! Easiest way to herd cattle is put a bail of hay or silage on the tractor and drive it past them. They will stop eating the luscious green grass growing at their feet and chase after the dry, aged stuff. Cows do look idyllic just munching away on the grass, it's a kind of peacefulness that makes the country look inviting, however the way some of them run after a bail of hay on the back of a tractor is hilarious and well worth watching. Sheep and goats are not so entertaining, they are stupid and just walk before, some cows seem to think they need to perform for their dinner. I wouldn't call cows dumb, but only because I remember Cows With Guns!

Red backs aren't even a major threat these days because most people know about them and know what to do if bitten. White tailed spiders got a bad rap because for years people spread stories about their bite causing a form of necroticism but it's scientifically proven that while they are poisonous they have been unfairly typecast. Sydney's funnelweb spiders are still very prominent but unlike the redback or white tailed they are big so you seem them coming. But they are nothing compared to the big fuckers found in Western Australia, those things can be the size of a dinner plate and they just knock on your door and wait for you to let them in! We had a pet tarantula when I lived in Sydney, no idea if he scared away the funnel webs or not but I never saw one, but I have seen the Golden Orb spider of WA and they definitely fill out a dinner plate for those that are hungry. The young feral population lives in many towns, and not always holiday towns because they all have to go home at some point. I used to do over night deliveries and some of the small country towns have their ferals. These idiots just go out, get drunk, stoned or both and cause trouble or break things. In Queensland (pre covid) they used to have a thing called Schoolies where those young adults finishing school would all turn up and drink for two weeks as if their school years were the hardest of their life and they needed a rest. That had been going on for about 30 years, but in more recent times there has been a influx of "toolies", adults who just want to sell drugs and cause trouble. But in reality that same thing happens every Friday and Saturday night in many towns across the country just in smaller numbers.

Bolt Thrower - For Victory

Not just the Poms, for a quite a few years through the 80's our famous bridge painter happily helped the Yanks drink the shit too.

Wombats are even dangerous to trucks, not only are they hard headed but they are nigh on impossible to see at dusk and dawn against the backdrop of the black road. Hitting them at speed has been known to flip vehicles. We've got a steak house up in the mountains near us and the last item on the menu is Roadkill: You kill it we grill it. They do take it literally although I'm not sure if anyone has brought in a wombat. I do know some guy tried to drag a kanagroo into the bar and claimed he ran into but the bullet hole and lack of damage to his ute suggested otherwise.

For sure, the main staples are chicken, beef and pork, but variety is creeping into stores and not just overpriced specialist delis. Our local Coles sells multiple varieties of kangaroo, venison, rabbit and even goat. The sales numbers aren't high but kangaroo does sell in pretty good quantities. I agree with the thought about pasta and soft drink. It's hard to see how Coke's sales figures have gone down so dramatically when you see how many boxes and bottles of coke are in shopping trolleys. Where I am we have a kangaroos and wallabies at plague levels, snoring koalas, emus, some ostriches, wombats (mobile speed humps), rabbits by the thousands, wild pigs (Razorback anyone?) and massive owls. While the area is built on beef and dairy farming we also have quite a few places farming deer, emus and pigs now days too.

Oops I was reading the abridged edition I remember as a kid when we used to write letters to other schools in the world, (this was after using the slate and chisel but well before email) and one American kid asked how good it was to have kangaroos as pets because he'd heard we all had them as pets. Kangaroos are annoying (especially bouncing off the front of the truck), I'd have much rathered a Loony Toons "Tassie" as my Australian pet. On the topic of food we are also one of the few countries in the world that eat their coat of arms as well. Roo is available in more places than emu but both are available commercially to anyone who wants them.

Motorhead - Overkill

It all comes down to where you got your "Guide To Australia" book. If it's the edition we send to other countries it says Australian's all like and act like Crocodile Dundee. All the wildlife will kill you if you look at it the wrong way. Australia invented the lamington despite what New Zealand says. Australian's all drink Fosters Then if you become an Australian Citizen you get a new book which says Don't tell anyone we don't all act like Mick (by this stage you are on a first name basis with Dundee) Don't touch the wildlife and it wont touch you Australia still invented the lamington Stop drinking Fosters no, one really drinks that shit we export it because it tastes so bad.

I've tried Bulliet bourbon, not really the breakfast of champions. I've watched Bullet, but again not really a substantial start to the day. But I haven't tried bullet coffee. I'm also not quite sure how much of a substitute it would be for any type for breakfast. At about 600ml it's probably filling but I reckon I'd be hungry again by 8am. Feeding cows grass is an important thing. Our cows used to eat hay and silage but they really didn't like it when we didn't given them grass. They weren't so picky on the type of grass, as long as it was green, but put them in a paddock without it and they got grumpy. So butter from grass fed cows would make a difference, especially if the other choice was butter from cows fed dirt! Although the one advantage of a grumpy cow is that if it's angry enough it will dance around the paddock making a racket and churning it's own butter! <--- That doesn't actually happen

The majority of axe wielding maniacs were driven to ground when we all started dressing like Crocodile Dundee and carrying large knives, which were easier to swing. Walk down the main street of any city these days and you barely even see an axe. As for the dingos, they are innocent, although they'll happily eat Elaine for such a terrible attempt at an Aussie accent.

Trouble - Trouble

The idea is that we make theses food sound terrible so people in other countries wont eat them. It's like all those stories about Australia being full of animals and insects and creepy crawlies that will kill you. The truth is all our native animals are very tame and patting them or feeding them is encouraged. The only scary animals we have here are drop bears and they are only dangerous if you stand below them!

Can't say I've ever licked feet to make such a comparison, but I think I'll stick with Vegemite just in case. In Aus a few years ago (probably 10 now I don't remember) they tried to change the recipe of Vegemite. The official reason was because they wanted to change with the times, the unofficial reason was that with less beer made and yeast no longer the waste product it was in the 1920's the costs to make it were going up and the manufacturer wanted to save money. They hyped it to a massive degree, they claimed people wouldn't notice the change but it would be so much healthier. It lasted less than a month before the backlash from consumers got too much and the idiots in the marketing department relegated it to Vegemite iSnack 2.0, put it in smaller jars at a higher price to recoup the massive advertising dollars they wasted until the batches made were sold. It's now a collectible item with 270gm jars selling for more than $50AUD. They also made a Cheesymite variety that still sells in reasonable enough numbers to keep it on the shelf, but all varieties now come in smaller jars than they used to because it was easier to make the jars smaller and increase the price than go through another failed effort changing the formula. The best bit about all those spreads though is that they never go off, and even if they did you'd never taste the difference!

Slayer - South Of Heaven

I'm not sure I have a preference yet. I like them both but time will tell.

They both have the same basic ingredients and made in a similar way, but there is changes in the herbs and flavours that do make them taste a lot different. Vegemite is also thicker and darker, although don't take that to mean that Marmite is not thick because it is. Marmite is sweeter, while still maintaining the saltiness, Vegemite for the uninitiated can be like licking the salt shaker. What one prefers tends a lot on what one tried first, but to actually suggest one is a substitute for another is a mistake.

Are you calling my ex-girl friend Corn Flakes?

Kiss - Destroyer

Most breakfast sound terrible, it's in the way that you present it that makes the difference. "Breakfast of champions" is a sell point for those who want to be champions but don't know how to start

Exodus - Blood In Blood Out

Secondary schools here are pushing STEM subjects. The kids do regular trips to the TAFE as a part of their subjects and the schools are building dedicated tech, science and maths wings. One of our biggest problems in this country is state borders and state leaders. It's been happening for years but the pandemic has reinforced the idea that we are not a united country of states but all separate. The way each and every state can go their separate ways, belittle other states and flat out ignore them when it comes to something as important as health proves that we could never be unified on something like education. I have no idea which state is the best, or the worst but the difference between states is ridiculous. Even when I got out of tech school it was neigh on impossible to take my Victorian report and show it to a prospective employer in NSW because they had no idea how to read it. Then when Victoria introduced the VCE in the 90's and year 12 students left school with an S for satisfactory or an N for not satisfactory, no grades, no pass, no fail, the reports kids had to show prospective employers weren't just impossible to read, then meant fucking nothing as well. That has been fixed 30 years on, but we are still no closer to having any sort on unified education system where all kids of the same level get taught the same stuff no matter what their postcode. Lockdown school was a joke, my kids hated it, the work they had was done by 10am most days, the work they had was no where near to a standard they were getting in the classroom. The teachers kept saying our job as parents was to support not teach. They were right, we had to support them by given them something interesting to do because the kids were bored out of their mind.

To me that sounds more like Maiden than the first single.

I was watching their 2018 live from Rockplast (or however you spell it) the other day for about the 5th time. They put on a great live show. Megadeth - Unplugged in 2001

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